Kenya: America Can Now Join African Union, Thanks to Trump

Regrettably, as the 28th Summit of the African Union gets under way, there will be one notable absence - US President Donald J Trump, representing a likely new member to the continental body.

The AU has never discriminated against any state on the basis of geography, colour, language or race.

 

Kindred spirits on the continent, such as South Africa's Jacob Zuma, have previously spoken about the menace of foreigners (makwerekwere) who bring murder, rape, drug-dealing into his country. It is not true that all Somalis and Kenyans are illegally in the US, just that the ones who were deported this week. Visits and immigration from seven Muslim-majority countries such as Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Yemen, and Iran are just the kind of thing that fuels terrorism, so he has ended it, not a long throw from the thorough vetting one needs to undergo to acquire the common passport for Africa.

As a true believer in law and order, Mr Trump has honoured a great African tradition by changing the law where it is uncomfortable to conform with new realities. Since he took office, he has been signing laws and just needs a constitutional change - like Rwanda's President Paul Kagame - to remove term limits so that he never stops making America great again. Here is a leader who understands how elections should be conducted, prophesying to the American people, "We will win! We will be winning all the time!"

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DISHONEST MEDIA

President Trump shares a singular misfortune with the African leader - to be tormented by dishonest media lying about the number of people who attended his inauguration, and protestors picketing about his legitimacy. John Pombe Magufuli of Tanzania does not tolerate that nonsense, and attending AU summits can put Mr Trump in touch with well-worn, hands-on experience on how to deal with staged little public embarrassments.

 

With the world crawling with enemies who have it in for you, you cannot just trust anybody with a job in your government. Uganda's President Yoweri Museveni would congratulate President Trump on naming his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, as Senior White House Advisor. Mr Museveni also recently named Gen Muhoozi Kainerugaba as his advisor after a stint as head of the presidential guard. In some other countries, relatives win tenders for sensitive state contracts frequently.

Next to relatives on the trust barometer, are seasoned senior citizens who know how the world really runs. Mr Trump has already shown great judgment by appointing the 72-year-old former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani as his Cyber Security Advisor. You cannot trust those 20-year-old hackers crawling all over the Internet. Kenya's President Uhuru Kenyatta can give him tips on how African old men can use the old hex on youth to keep them in check.